Thursday, December 16, 2010

Lolita's in love

Let me begin with stating that a relationship is not essential for happiness. I'd rather spend my life single than in an unsatisfying relationship. As much as I love romantic stories, I think it's stupid when people think you can't have a "happily ever after" without a wedding.

The idea of the perfect couple is not absent in lolita. Many secrets are about girls longing for their Prince Charming (or princess, of course). In photoshoots and drawings this idea is strengthened. A gothic girl with an aristocrat, a sweet lolita with a cute ouji, a Victorian gentleman with a classic lady. It makes for pretty pictures, but that doesn't mean the relationship is perfect. Sadly, the number of boys interested in lolita/aristo/dandy is small, and we can't all just turn lesbian either.

If you really want a boy who dresses in the same style as you, your choice is very limited. I know a couple of scene/goth/emo boys, and even some interested in visual kei or gyaru-o, but no aristo or dandy. Also, I find none of them very attractive. That's the second problem: you may find a boy who wants to dress up with you, but you also have to like him! I hope no one will enter a relationship just because "we look so good together". Your lover is not a fashion accesory! Another thing which I hope doesn't happen, is boyfriends being forced to dress up when they actually don't want to. You wouldn't like it if he forced you to dress 'normally' either, right?

I think the qualities of a lolita-proof boyfriend are not so different from the qualities any boy should have. He should support you in way of dressing, or at least don't mind it. Of course, he doesn't have to come to every meet-up with you, or participate in every photoshoot. I think it's also important to have someone to keep you down to earth. Someone who points out the impracticality of wearing lolita to this-and-this occasion, or tells you that you really don't need 6 pink dresses. Of course, this is not romantic at all, but I think it will make a relationship more lasting.

I'm very happy with my boyfriend. He's not really interested in fashion, but he had heard of lolita before I met him, which saved me a lot of explaining. I had just started with: "There's this fashion in Japan inspired by rococo and..." when he said: "Oh, you mean lolita?" He likes my way of dressing, though I think he does appreciate that I don't wear it 24/7. Most importantly, we love each other <3
Of course, it is essential that you have at least something in common. But it doesn't necessarily have to be your clothing style. My boyfriend wants to dress like the Beatles, I want to dress like a girl from a fairytale. But our other interests are very similar, as well as our characters, and I feel extremely happy with him.

It's like the old saying: it's the inside that counts. A pretty face or a pretty dress isn't everything. The most important thing is being happy together.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Sleeping Beauty

Yesterday I went to the theater to see a ballet performance: the Sleeping Beauty. It was amazing. If you want, you can ~click here~ to see the trailer on the Youtube channel of the National Ballet group.

I love ballet. I've had lessons from when I was 4 to when I was 13, and I've often been to performances like Giselle or Cinderella. I love big classical shows with detailed decors and costumes. I've never been disappointed in a show, but I think this one was the most beautiful one I've seen thus far. The music was from Tchaikovsky so that was all good, the choreography was interesting and the dancers very skilled, the decor was breathtaking, with moving parts of forest, see-throughs, detailed attributes, and a beautiful palace as background. This was also the first show I've seen which used special effects. I've seen mist machines before, but apart from those they used flashes of light and sounds of thunder whenever dark magic happened, and glittering golden rain at the wedding. Very spectacular 

On the left the princess with her parents, after she's pricked her finger. On the right the wedding scene.
 And the costumes! They were my favourite part. They were very detailed, with beautiful embroidery and glitter, and the costumes suited the characters very well. I loved the bad fairy and her minions, they were very crow-like and evil. Their dancing was also very menacing, their dance was one of my favourite parts.
The timeline was clearly visible, too. That's something people often forget, I think, but in 100 years the world really changes. In the first 2 scenes, before the princess falls asleep, the clothing was 17th century styled, with long curly wigs and poofy pants, but after her 100 years of sleeping, everything was Rococo~ I loved it ^^

Left: pas-de-deux; right: the bad and the good fairy.

In the final scene, the wedding, other fairytale-figures appeared. Cinderella and her prince, Beauty and the Beast, Bluebeard and his wife, Little Red and the Wolf, and the Puss in Boots with his girlfriend! I really loved the dance of the two cats, it was very playful and humorous. Little Red and the Wolf also had some sort of pas-de-deux, in which the Wolf tried to catch her. His jumps were amazing! I think it was very clever of the choreographer (Marius Petipa) to include these comical intervals. Serious drama is beautiful, but after a while, you need a break. So then there's the Puss in Boots with a funny dance!

Sadly, not all people know how to behave. An old man next to me apparently thought watching a performance is like watching television, and he kept commenting on the show and talking to his wife. His comments were really childish and stupid, too. Another thing that disappointed me is that most people were dressed very casually. I think going to the theater is the perfect opportunity to dress up, so I wore a pretty dress and nice shoes, but I saw so many people in jeans and sneakers! It surprises me how scared people are to be overdressed. I often remember a quote of which I've forgotten the source: "What's the worst that can happen? That you're the best dressed person in the room?"

I didn't dress in lolita, although I wanted to at first. I changed my mind because of the cold and the inconvenience. I had to travel by bike and train, and it was freezing, so I didn't think it practical to wear a short skirt with a petticoat. So I went for another favourite of mine, Audrey Hepburn-style! Which meant a long black velvet dress and pearls!


No matter how much hairspray I use, some strands remain unable to tame... The dress and shoes are both second hand, there's a wonderful secondhand shop in my parent's village. My tights had golden glitters on them, very appropiate. I borrowed them from my mother, just like the pearl necklace. I don't own any real pearls, sadly! I do hope my mom will lend them to me more often :)

Monday, December 6, 2010

The community

As I said before, I am not part of a local community. Although it would be fun, I don't really miss it. But I think every lolita is, in some way, part of the online community. Maybe you post pictures on daily_lolita, ask questions on egl, have a tumblr or blogspot blog or sell your clothes second hand via egl_comm_sales. I think there are very few lolita's who don't at least check egl regulary.

I often have very mixed feelings about the online community. I think it's great to share pictures and information over the internet, to help each other with coordinates and purchases etc. But the internet makes people anonymous, and this can stimulate bad behaviour. I won't go into the details of cyber-bullying or rude comments on egl, many people have written about that already. Personally, I think that sometimes rude comments are deserved. It isn't that hard to observe some rules and apply common sense. But it can go too far.

Sometimes, I love the online community. The loli_valentines, for example, always make me smile. And nice and helpful comments on outfit posts on daily_lolita are great as well. I love the many blogs, the interaction of lolita's across the globe, art posts, photoshoots, useful information on shopping services or reviews of purchases. I think almost everyone will agree with me.
But there are times when I decide that I will never participate in the online community ever again! Stupid lolita's! I don't need you, I will dress only for myself from this moment onwards! This often happens after reading loli_secret, or when I'm fed up with the greed and stupidity that come from certain posts on egl.
I often read the secrets. I like to know what's going on in the community, and it's a bit like gossiping. But I almost always feel sad after reading them. Mostly this is a general feeling of: people can be so mean... that quickly passes. Sometimes I have to laugh about a secret that's completely ridiculous, and wonder who thought it was worth the time to make a secret about such a trivial thing.
I've posted a secret two or three times, and I'm always surprised when people comment on them. They often misunderstand me, too. But what suprises me most is the attitude of some comments. Why do you have to be so rude? I guess I'm too much of a nice girl, always afraid to hurt others. Some people just aren't nice, I have to get used to that.

In general, I do love the community, but I hope I will meet more lolita's in real life. Internet can bring people closer together, but it's still a barrier.